I remember the moment I took this picture.
I’ll tell you more:
I remember the moment behind every picture,
Wanting to capture each moment of my despair.
I remember the fake smiles I put on instants before,
Thinking they would make me feel better somehow;
Perhaps even prettier, happier, healthier.

They didn’t.

I am scrolling through hundreds of me’s now,
All that pain resurfacing in biting flashbacks.
I did not like taking pictures of me,
Knowing exactly what the outcome would be:
Slovenliness. Indifference. Relinquishment.

But I did anyway.

I had the urge to see what was becoming of me.
I wanted to witness to my ponderous deterioration.

© living in verses

(Last year, I underwent a very ugly period of my life. I decided to write this poem in order to let it all out. These verses represent the screams I buried within me during that year.)

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